Interview and photographs by Michael Knott

Rick McDonough has been my friend for many years now.  He’s helped me record several projects including the All Indie E.P., Struck Last May – 16 Flowers, the latest Windy Lyre record.  He is also currently playing on – and engineering – the new L.S. Underground record, as well as my next solo release entitled Even Star.  In the meantime, Rick has found enough time to record his first solo album under the name of Hidden From Blackout entitled Breakups and Fur Coats.

M: So let’s get right to it then, what does Hidden From Blackout mean?

R: The Hidden From Blackout name came from a P.J. Harvey record where she says “I was in need of help, hidden to blackout” and it just struck me at the time. It was actually my favorite song on the record. I remember the song had these sparse verses with piano panned left and right, and then went into this glorious big sounding chorus with vocals that would wrap around and embrace you. It made me take notice and left me wanting more, and then “hidden to blackout” just evolved into Hidden From Blackout. I’m sure all the kids are listening to P.J. Harvey these days, aren’t they?

M: I know you’ve been doing music for many, many years and been in several bands over the years. How long have you actually been doing music?

R: Since I was 13.  I saved up enough money to purchase my first guitar, an acoustic Gibson Hummingbird knock-off. I was so proud of it even though it had a bend in the neck and would buzz on the 4th and 12th frets. I think I handed that guitar down to my brother, eventually.

M: You’re from the D.C. area, isn’t that right?

R: Yeah, I always say Washington D.C.

M: What is that the proper way, the east coast way, or is it like calling San Francisco “Frisco?” Why do you specify Washington D.C.?

R: Technically, I’m from Arlington, Virginia, but I don’t really want to associate myself with a cemetery right now.

M: Yeah, not yet. I may soon, but not you.

R: No, when I first came to Southern California, while going to university, people would ask where I was from. The first few times I proudly announced “Arlington, Virginia”. I started getting questions like “why don’t you speak with a southern accent?” and “do your parents fly the rebel flag?” I quickly realized that the people I was interacting with had no idea where Arlington actually was.  Sure, its south of the Mason-Dixon line, but it’s still a suburb of D.C.   I proceeded to tell people I was from Washington D.C., instead, which sounds quite different to those who may be more geographically challenged.  Anyway, it’s all about perception I suppose.

M: Yeah. So, the title of the record is Breakups and Fur Coats. That’s got a really nice ring to it, what is that all about?

R: It pretty much just came to me one day in the fall. It was overcast and chilly out, and I tend to get reflective and sentimental when the weather’s like that. I was thinking of a friend’s relationship, which led me to consider a former relationship of my own. Anyway, I decided to call this instrumental song that I was working on that day “Breakups and Fur Coats.” The emotion I was trying to convey though the music was that of one attempting to achieve comfort, kind of like me wanting a fur coat that autumn day. I know it’s kind of cheesy, but what are you going to do? Cheese is good in moderation anyway. Well, a few months down the road I decided the title deserved something more, and it ended up as the name of the record instead. Amid momentary frustrations, pains, challenges, and struggles that can come upon us there is always comfort if you seek it out. If you can grab a hold of your perspective and search for positive and comforting things, such reassurance is waiting for you like a big, warm, comfortable fur coat.

M: Great. Well, obviously I’ve heard the record, I love it, and you were kind enough to ask me to mix it with you, so thank you.

R: No, thank you.

M: Let’s move on, what kind of music would you call your stuff, or how would you describe it?

R: That’s a good question. I suppose every musician struggles when attempting to classify his own music, or put it into a category and box it up. I kind of see it as a melancholy cinematic experience but with the visual aspect playing out in your imagination. I would describe it with words like emotional, reflective, melodic, fluid, and textured. It’s emotional and I think it evokes emotion.  It’s got hints of indie, emo, ambient, lo-fi, down-tempo, alternative, ambient, but yet it’s not specifically any of these styles either. With most of the songs on this record I started out writing on guitar, and then they evolved from there. I would often deconstruct them and build them back up on electric guitar. There are vocals on some of the songs, but they play more of a supportive role a lot of the time as opposed to being the emphasis. It’s not like they are completely buried in the mix, but they are more like another instrument carrying out their melody, playing their part towards the whole.

M: I think it’s so surreal and dissident. It really has so many different layers and diverse emotions going on at the same time that overlap and are nicely interwoven within each other. I think if people slow down and soak in it that they will just love it.

Ok, so who in the WASHINGTON D.C. area influenced you and the way you perceived music when you were growing up? Is there one band from D.C. that really moved you, or you would go out of your way to see there in a club, if you were even old enough to get into a club?

R: If I had to pick one band it would probably have to be Fugazi.

M: What did, or do, you appreciate about Fugazi?

R: I love their honesty and their intensity. Those guys always hit me in the gut and leave me craving more. I definitely resonated with them on an emotional level as a youngster, and I still do. They rock in an anti-rock sort of way.

M: Are there any other bands from your youth that may have impacted you or may have had a significant influence on you?

R: I would have to say that the Beach Boys were huge for me. I remember sitting listening to some of the arrangements and layers of vocal melodies on vinyl and later cassettes, and just being blown away. I think when I was like 10 or 11 I had accumulated over 30 Beach Boys records. The way that Brian Wilson placed sounds was simply brilliant. I really think they helped shape my ear for melody and arrangement at an early age.

M: Are there any other big influences when you were younger?

R: I really got into Kraftwerk at one point. I wasn’t Mr. Electronic guy, but they did some pretty crazy stuff. I remember being both scared and intrigued as these German guys would do these futuristic synthesized sound- scapes with occasional lyrics interjected into the music; it wasn’t like anything else. I think the fact that they were from Germany added to the mystique for me too. Germany was this far off, abstract place, kind of like the future.

M: Didn’t they play Coachella a few years ago?

R: Yeah, I had the pleasure to see them that year, I think it was 2005. It was one of the most exciting shows I saw that year even though they didn’t move around very much. They just stood there the whole time in their suits, standing behind these podiums with keyboards and samplers. The podiums were identical, as was their attire. There was something pretty powerful about how minimalistic it all was, and that concept coincided with the music well. Then, with the lights out they had these tiny tie clasps with little red blinking lights. Every once and a while they would really get into a keyboard part, and then quickly return back to attention, behind the podium. They also had this screen behind them and speakers in the front, back, and middle of the tent providing this sort of surround sound set up. In particular, I remember it being pretty cool on Trans Europe Express, as visually they had vintage footage of these European cars from the 40’s and 50’s on the Autobahn, that, coupled with the sound of the cars through the speakers, provided for a very cool experience. Also, just the fact that I was able to see them that year was pretty amazing, I think it was one of two or three U.S. shows they played that year.

M: That sounds really cool. How about modern artists?  Who do you like? Who influences you now?

R: There’s a lot of modern music that I appreciate. A few modern artists I appreciate include Yo La Tengo, Sufjan Stevens, Ms. John Soda, Boards of Canada, Beck, Mogwai, The Octopus Project, Passengers, Mum, Explosions in the Sky, The American Analog Set, and I could probably go on and on.

I would have to say that one of the biggest modern influences would have to be Sigur Ros. They are powerful, often very sound-scapey, textured, and always emotionally engaging. I also appreciate the fact that they have been able to be true to their creativity while still achieving a certain amount of commercial success, too. That’s a pretty hard thing to accomplish.  A lot of times it’s sad because the music and art is compromised in order to obtain recognition, self glorification, or money. It’s a tough balance, and easy for people to lose focus, putting other goals above the art and music, but not with Sigur Ros, and I respect that. I also love that I can resonate and relate on an emotional level with their music without even knowing what they are saying. Beyond that, it’s pretty wild that they created their own dialect too.

M: So they’ve been a musical influence, but you haven’t come up with your own language, though.

R: No—not yet, but it’s not out of the question.

M: Yeah, that’s a little tough, and maybe too time consuming.

R: I also don’t have the influence of the frigid Icelandic weather. Maybe that environment could help me create my own language as well.

M: I understand it’s a really beautiful place.

R: It looks like it is from what I’ve seen. I’d like to go there and have a drink in an igloo or something like that.

M: Yeah, I think they have ice hotels there don’t they?

R: If they do I trust there’s no fireplace.

M: So now let’s talk about some of the instrumentation that you are using in order to achieve such a surreal and emotional sound, or presence. What are you using? You don’t have to tell us all the secrets, but how do you create this experience?

R: That’s a hard one to pin down as I often try to be as sensitive to the song or idea as possible. I try to tune into the emotion, or emotions, and in a sense, allow the emotion to guide me as to what sounds they want to be matched up with.  Each one is really an individual.

Like I mentioned earlier many of the songs do start out on guitar as that’s a very relatable instrument for me. So, obviously I use guitars, and I just kind of layer from there. Then, when using effects I tend to gravitate towards softer things like reverb and delay, but again it varies from song to song.

M: Were you starting out with electric or acoustic guitar?

R: A lot of times it was acoustic, and then I would revisit the song on electric. Guitar was the foundation for most of this recording, and typically I would layer and build from there using keyboards, samples, lap steel, etc. Whatever texture or sound that seemed to work with the emotional idea that I was working towards, I put the song above all else and worked to support it to the best of my ability. I tend to approach each idea, each emotion, and each song individually, so it does really depend. I really just try to be as honest and as sensitive to the music as I can be, so I can support it to the best of my ability.

M: Well, let’s talk about some of those songs. I know this is a pretty tough one, but apparently one of the songs you wrote for this record was about a SWAT officer who was killed about a year ago.

R: That’s right, one of the songs was about the first SWAT officer killed in the line of duty in the U.S., actually here in Los Angeles. His name was Officer Randal Simmons, and the second song on the record was inspired by his life.

M: And what is that song called?

R: “41-D,” which I believe was how he was identified when he was on the radio, on duty. I heard about the stand-off on the news, and remember hearing that in the end he was slain. Once I started hearing more about who he was I really wanted to honor his life through the music and try to reflect what an incredible man he was.  It’s sad in that he passed, but it’s ultimately an uplifting reflection of inspiration through his life. He was a real hero who served on the LAPD to protect your average person in the community for nearly 30 years. He was also very active within the community helping to instill confidence in kids and keep them off the streets through ministry for like 11 years. It’s a real shame we had to lose such a great man who genuinely cared for those people around him, but his life is an inspiration to me and many countless others I’m sure.

M: I think that song is wonderful.   It has a sad and melancholy feel, but yet I can hear hope within it as well. The chorus seems almost triumphant to me. What a way to honor his family too.

Alright, let’s talk about another song that I think that’s really great too, it has something to do with space. Isn’t that right?

R: Yes, there is a song on the record called Space.

M: Explain that one.

R: A little while back, I think in the spring of 2007, I was watching the Today show.

M: Shame on you!

R: I know, right?

M: Just kidding.

R: I was watching it and they did this story on Hawking, Dr. Steven Hawking. He is a mathematician and physicist who has done a lot of research on cosmology and black holes, and things like that. Unfortunately, he has some sort of neurological disorder that has left him mostly, if not entirely, paralyzed. He even talks by this sensor that is on his voice box, or something like that. He’s a super intelligent fellow with a brilliant mind. Anyway, apparently some millionaire who was a fan of Hawking decided to treat him to this airplane ride so that he could experience zero gravity. That way Hawking would know how it would feel if he could actually experience going to space. So they took him up in this plane, and there was this footage of them spinning him in zero gravity. He can’t express a lot of emotion because of his disorder, but you could see the joy just gleaming from his eyes in that moment. It completely overwhelmed me to see this, in fact, I’m getting goose bumps talking about it right now! Here you have this guy with this amazing mind who has been physically afflicted by this awful disease, bound to a wheel chair for life and regardless, he’s able to experience extreme joy. I mean how can I complain about not having the latest iPod, or sitting in traffic, or anything? Really, where do I get off complaining? If he can experience joy like that, why can’t I experience such joy in the simply daily things in my own life? I can. I mean I don’t have the challenges that he does, but it’s a tremendous example of perspective, and that guy is right on.

M: One of the parts of the song just exclaims “pure joy”, isn’t that right? I think that’s a pretty powerful part of the song.

R: Yeah, and that’s what I saw on his face, and there’s no reason why I can’t have joy like that.

M: So, how is it working with Michael Knott?

R: No comment.

M: Ok Rick, there’s one other song I wanted to ask you about. It’s a really uplifting number, the first one on the record, called “As Noon.” Could you give us a little information on that one?

R: Sure. The inspiration for that song really came from watching a good friend find his bride. It was awesome to witness him experience such happiness and comfort in discovering her. At the time I was reading Ernest Hemmingway’s The Sun Also Rises, and at the beginning of one of the chapters he is describing this fiesta with these explosions and this magnificent visual display. When I was reading that it made me think of the emotional explosions my friend was experiencing in his life, and how wonderful it was for me to watch all this unfold. What a celebratory time for him, and certainly worthy of such fireworks. He found his soul mate, he found true love, and how brilliant is that! In essence, that’s what I was trying to capture emotionally.

M: That’s great! I heard that you may be doing a video for that song as well.  If you do will you share it on YouTube or something like that?

R: I do have a vision for a video for that song that I hope to put out, and it will be available. Hopefully we can get started on it in the next couple of weeks, so we’ll see.

M: I look forward to seeing it.

So let me toss out a few words in an to attempt to describe your music and see if you agree with them: emotional, dissident, melancholy. Is melancholish a word?

R: If it isn’t we are at liberty to make it one.

M: Well, you got a degree in English Literature didn’t you? You should know.

R: Are you not comfortable with my melancholyism? Is that a clinical disorder? If so, I doubt that it’s curable.

M: In your case you’re probably right. Moving on, another descriptive word for your music could be reflective, right?

R: Absolutely, I would agree with all of those descriptions.

M: While your music seems to be all of these things, there are parts that are quite joyful. Part of it seems to flow wherever the emotion wants to flow. I really do enjoy this record, and I was excited to have had a part in it so that it can get out and connect with others. I’m happy to be interviewing you as well to promote it as I feel it is an important record, and that people need to hear and experience it.

I have a question that I like to ask every artist that I interview. Now you being the first artist that I’ve ever interviewed I will ask you the question, I will ask you the question I’ve never asked anyone because I’ve never interviewed anyone else. Do you have a good story from or about the music industry, maybe something that you experienced or witnessed? It could be good, bad, funny, or indifferent. Do you have something to share? I think everyone has something to share about the industry, or a specific experience. Do you have anything like that?

R: I think I might have one. Well, it involves this guy by the name of Michael Knott…

M: No, no, no. Not including me. That’s why I’m doing this interview.

R: If that’s the case then I don’t know if I’ve got anything for you.

(This image by Brenda Clark, Rick’s wife.)

M: Come on, I know you’ve got something.

R: I tend to try to go to SXSW each year if I can as I love SXSW. This one year I went to go see Goldfrapp, Ray Davies, and Morrissey all at the same venue on the same night. It was a pretty cool line up. After watching Goldfrapp, who put on a good show by the way, I had the chance to get back stage. As I recall, Morrissey was supposed to go on next and Ray Davies was to follow, but Davies was a secret show or something. Someone back stage, I think it was Allison Goldfrapp, had ordered and brought barbecue wings or something like that. Morrissey had a slight problem with that. Apparently he doesn’t like meat, who knew? I guess meat is murder. Anyway, he started verbally going at Goldfrapp, and Ray Davies got into the middle of it. After debriefing with a friend who books shows, apparently Morrissey doesn’t ever want any meat present at the venue that he is playing, and he strictly forbids it.

M: Wow! So what happened?

R: I thought it was going to come down to blows or something.

M: You thought they were going to start punching each other?

R: Yeah, and Davies totally stood up for Goldfrapp as he thought she should have whatever she wanted. Then Davies got so upset that he didn’t want to go on after Morrissey.

M: So Davies didn’t play?

R: Nope, he did not play.

M: You didn’t get to hear Lola?

R: No, it was a bummer as I am a fan of the Kinks. I did get to see Morrissey though, and he put on a good show. I was excited to see him do Girlfriend in a Coma in particular. I suppose it’s as close to the Smiths as I’m ever going to get live.

M: Wow, now that’s a good story!

R: It does make for a good story, doesn’t it?

M: Well Rick, I’m really impressed by your record, the first solo project released by Rick McDonough with one of the coolest titles I’ve heard on a record lately, Breakups and Fur Coats. Can you just tell us briefly any other projects that you may be involved with since you seem as busy as me?

R: Well, obviously I’m working on finalizing your L.S. Underground project.

M: Thank you.

R: It’s an amazing record and I’m really thankful to be part of it. It’s really going to impact a lot of people in a positive way. Then, we’re also working on your next solo project Even Star, which is equally amazing in a very different way. We still have the sophomore release of Struck Last May as well which should be a little bit easier for some to digest.

M: I think you’re right as it’s not quite as experimental as 16 Flowers.

R: Yeah, maybe it’s like turning it back from 10 to something like 7.5 or 8 on the experimental dial.

I’m also trying to wrap up a project with a buddy of mine that I’ve worked with for years who has the most amazing voice. We did a few songs together under the name While Rome is Burning. It’s a two person studio project based on textures, guitars, loops, hooks, and things like that. Then, you have this ethereal sort of hauntingly beautiful vocals that just engulf you. For these songs I presented him with poetry that he would then rework into lyrics.  I don’t want to belabor the point, but he has such an amazing voice.

M: He does, and his name is…

R: Peter Kusek. He’s a crazy talented guy, and I’m grateful to be able to work with him. If I had to pick someone’s voice that I appreciate the most it would probably have to be Peter.

M: He does have an amazing voice, I agree completely.

R: It’s going to be a 5 to 7 song e.p., and it’s a pretty exciting collection of songs. I also just started a keyboard-based project. I’m tossing around a couple of ideas as to what I am going to call it, but haven’t settled on one as of this moment. They are textured sound scapes that you could have playing in the background, or like something that you would hear in an indie film, something along those lines. I hope to have that out later this year as well. Then, I’m also playing with a cool indie rock band called Paravell. A friend of mine that I went to university with is the main song writer and front man.

M: Do you guys play out?

R: Yes, we typically try to play a couple of shows a month here locally in Orange County.  We have a record out, and we are working on several new songs that we are going to start recording here shortly. I’m pretty excited about that too. I think the songs are really relatable and going to impact people in a good way.

M: Now tell me how people can get a hold of your new record and what it costs.

R: I have it for sale online at hiddenfromblackout.com and its $14.00 with shipping in the U.S. or Canada.

M: A lot of people may not know that you also do painting, photography, writing, all sorts of other creative things aside from the music. Do you ever sell your paintings and photography?

R: I do, but right now it’s more word of mouth.

M: How would someone go about trying to purchase one of your pieces? Would they just have to come to your house?

R: They could by appointment, or during happy hour which is 4-6. Right now I just have a photography blog up that briefly goes over the projects I’m working on or have been hired out for. I hope to display my photography and my paintings that I have for sale soon, but I’m working on it right now. People can get to the photo blog from the Hidden From Blackout site.

M: You are a talented photographer. Your paintings are great, too.  I know one of your last series was a Napa Valley series of the vineyards there. How many did you paint in that series?

R: I did something like 14 in that series, but I’d say that less than half of them are officially finished. Isn’t that typical for an artist, nothing is ever finished.

M: Maybe you’ll have it set up for people to see those paintings in the next month or two?

R: I hope I can at least get a link up that connects from the Hidden From Blackout site.

M: Well thanks Rick, in conclusion is there anything else that you would like to say?

R: I can’t think of anything aside from thanks, brother.

2) What projects were you involved in with him?
Too many to count.

3) How do you think Gene impacted the music scene?
He knew how to record and bring the life from his subjects.

4) Three words you would use to describe Gene?
“That’s pretty good”… what he meant was “that’s amazing!”

When I interviewed Michael back in 2007 for a Struck Last May article, I had asked him, “Any fond words and memories of Gene Eugene?” His response was, “A wonderful, loving person. Extremely talented, extremely helpful in my musical recording career, and I’m just sad he’s gone.”

Gene and Mike Knott live. Photo courtesy of Jeremy Ladan

Brian was 15 years old when he first met Michael Knott. They have a long personal and musical relationship. I talked to Brian about reconnecting with Michael and about their upcoming projects. This is what he said, “Mike and I just ran into each other a few months back. He asked what I had been doing, I asked what he had been up to. I told him I had 3 months sober at that point, he couldn’t believe it but he said that was great! He told me he was still doing solo records and L.S.U. records, and I said, ‘That’s great man, who the hell is in L.S.U. (laughter).’ Mike told me that he had got a bunch of guys together and that they were recording right now and he said, “Why don’t you come in and do some guitar work.” I told him that if it was alright with the other guys in his band that I would be honored to come in and play… so I went in, played and it sounded really good and I was happy with it. Ya know, it was really fun, and I thought ‘Ahhhhh, this is how it’s supposed to be.’

“Mike’s also doing this solo record, Even Star, and I’m doing bass on that, already recorded a couple of tracks and it came out really good.” I asked Brian if he was going to be playing on the new Lifesavers record and he said, “He hasn’t said anything to me about it, I know the main thing we’re trying to finish up right now is the L.S.U. record, and then I think next is the Even Star record, but I’m sure if he does a Lifesavers thing… I think that’s the more ‘pop’ part of the whole deal he does… I haven’t talked to him about it, but I would be happy to play on anything that he does if I can help out in anyway.” Brian and I started talking about the last time he played with Michael and he reminisced, “The last L.S.U. record that I played on was Grace Shaker, and I’m really proud of that record, but I don’t think people got that one either. Then we brought in the Aunt Betty’s guys for the harder stuff on that record and it came out really well… but now, the new L.S.U. record, that thing is heavy! I thought, wow, L.S.U. has really changed while I was gone. It was cool, I was able to blend in a little bit and throw the old Doidge sound in there, but it was a lot heavier than I expected.”

When I told Brian how cool I thought it was that he and Michael were back in touch and making music together again he said, “Yeah, it’s kind of odd how things happen. I reconnected through sobriety and the program. I reconnected with God and He’s back in my life on a regular basis, and I’m sure that has a lot to do with it ya know. I just pray, God, what am I supposed to do now, I didn’t die so why am I here? These doors just start opening ya know… it’s the weirdest thing. It’s been fun, I didn’t think I would ever play again, and now it looks like it might be part of the future.”

“The normal, mundane things you become grateful for”

By Steve Ruff
Photos by Rick McDonough

This was one of the coolest interviews I have ever done. I always enjoy talking to anyone associated with Michael Knott and any of his projects. Contrary to the press that I have seen in most other places where I have read about Knott, I have always found him to be extremely gracious and very giving of himself and his resources. When we interviewed Michael for our last issue, and Matt and I were both wondering what had happened to Brian Doidge, I decided to make that an interview questions. As you read, Michael and Brian were back together and working on the new L.S. Underground record. I, for one, was pretty excited about that. I have always enjoyed watching the old footage that I have of L.S.U. and seeing Brian up there next to Michael, tattooed and strumming away at his guitar… kind of like the silent sidekick. Brian was the clown to Michael’s cookie monster (C-Stone ’93). Brian and Michael were always together for all of Knott’s various projects: L.S.U., Lifesavers, Aunt Bettys and Michael’s solo ventures as well. Then it seemed as though Doidge disappeared after the original Aunt Bettys broke up. What happened to Doidge?

A couple of weeks after the interview with Michael, he contacted me and said, “Why don’t you talk to Doidge, he has a great story to share that might help others in some way.” Of course, I was game and all in for that. No one has ever asked me to write an article, and this one really hit home for me in a personal way. Besides the fact that the Knott/Doidge combo are some of my favorite artists, Brian’s story hit me on a personal level as well. Writers love to talk about themselves, I guess it is somewhat cathartic. I usually steer clear of myself, especially in Christian circles. My past is riddled with drug and alcohol abuse, and for many people I have come in contact with, unless you have lived it, the church has very little understanding of it. I am speaking generically here, I am not saying nobody gets it – just painting the ‘church’ with a broad stroke here.  It seems that this subject is something hard for them to get their arms around. Anyway, Brian’s story is not one of just indulgence and partying  hard while promoting the ‘rock ‘n roll’ lifestyle… far from that. To me, Brian’s story is a story of redemption, both personal and public; a story of friendships mended and grace rediscovered. This interview lifted me in a way that was very healing on some level. I talked to my wife about my conversations with Brian for several days. I hope that you find this article relevant for yourself or someone you know who may struggle with addiction.

The AMA (American Medical Association) calls addiction a disease. If it is a disease, it is not a typical one… or not in the sense that cancer is a disease. It is something that many people live with, or struggle with, and not always easy to tell. The end result though: addiction leads to prison, death or sobriety – those are usually the only options. This article is not a judgment on drinking, I am not playing the moral police with that. I don’t drink because I have an obvious problem with alcohol, but I don’t think there is anything wrong with alcohol, or the consumption therein. How much is too much is for the individual to figure out. The only scripture that I think really deals with it is where Paul said to not be controlled by anything other than the ‘Spirit’. Again, that is a call for people to make for themselves, and everyone is different. So please, don’t take this article the wrong way, my intent is not to pass any type of judgment, it is just to relay a story, and as Brian and myself hope, to help someone who might find hope in these lines, or to offer encouragement to someone trying to help others.

Brian Doidge has been around the music scene a long time.  Actually, I was surprised at just how long. He is now 42 years old, but he first got saved at the young age of 14 at Calvary Chapel in Costa Mesa California. He tells it like this: “That was back when the whole punk rock thing hit, I cut off all my surfer hair, and I got the look of the Sex Pistols. Some of my friends and I got really involved in church and in the born-again movement, but we wanted to be like The Ramones and The Sex Pistols, so we started a band.” Brian’s musical influences really began there as well. He said, “The first Ramones album was really easy to learn to play, it was just three chords and the bass was like, one note, so it was simple to learn. I got saved right around the same time I started playing, but the music I was into was probably not the music that most people would expect a new Christian to be listening to. I don’t know if people have picked up on it or not, but my biggest guitar influence was Brian James who played in The Dammed and then in Lords Of The New Church. That guitar sound and what he was doing I really liked, so I tried to copy that. Then there was the guitar player from Killing Joke, he did a lot of weird chords, and once I sat down and started learning that stuff I thought, ‘hey, this is cool’. So, I kind of combined all of those things and came out with my own sound, I never really had any lessons, I just learned from the records I listened to back then.”

At the time there weren’t really any Christian punk rock bands around. Brian relates, “There was this 70′s rock, Daniel Amos and Randy Stonehill, but this was like ’79 or ’80 and we had started a band that played Ramones style music, but we didn’t have a singer, so we put out an ad and Michael showed up.” Brian laughs, “Michael drove all the way from Huntington Beach to Yorbe Linda, and he thought it was the longest drive of his life… he walks in, comes up and I remember thinking, ‘Who’s this guy, he thinks he’s Elvis’, because he had this jet black hair and pompadour, but when he played with us I knew he was good. We had already started playing shows then, but there was this other band, The Lifesavers, and they were having trouble with their singer, so Michael ended up going with that band.” The band that Brian was in was called The Chosen Ones, and they were playing Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa back when they had Saturday night concerts. The bands that played then were The Chosen Ones, Undercover, The Lifters and The Lifesavers, and those were really the only bands playing this ‘new’ style of music back then. Brian states, “The Lifters were rockabilly, and Undercover was more of a rock band, The Lifesavers and The Chosen Ones were playing punk and people were packing the place, it was this big move of Jesus, and that’s basically how I met Mike Knott.”

Following on with the history Doidge continues, “The Chosen Ones were kind of disintegrating, we were only like 15 and 16 years old, and we were still going through puberty and fighting all the time, so it was hard to keep things together. I started another band called The Altar Boys with a couple of guys from The Chosen Ones, and right when I got that together and we were about to start playing shows, The Lifesavers recruited me to play guitar behind Michael.” Brian laughs, “I was 16 years old and I remember the drummer was mad and he was like, ‘We can’t let this little kid in, he doesn’t even have his license’… but we ended up being good friends with him, his name was Kevin Lee and he ended up being the drummer on Shaded Pain and some other stuff we did, but yeah, that was funny. I don’t remember if we ever played a show as The Altar Boys, we were going to, but Kevin’s brother was Mike Annis (Mike Stand) and he came to me one day and said he was starting a band and wanted to use the name Altar Boys, and I said sure, we weren’t going to use it so you’re welcome to it, and then the Altar Boys went on to play for a long time too. It was a tight knit group back then because there wasn’t really any other Christian punk rock or alternative music groups playing … we were kind of the first ones to be taking it to this whole new level. It was an exciting time, I was really glad to have been a part of it, I was really blessed to have been a part of it… ya know, I don’t really know how my life would’ve turned out if I hadn’t been there, it was a lot of fun.”

From that point on, Brian played with Michael Knott. As a matter of fact, Brian has played on most of Knott’s various projects all the way up until sometime around 2000. That includes L.S.U., Lifesavers, Lifesavors, L.S. Underground and some solo ventures as well, including Rocket & A Bomb, Strip Cycle and Fluid (which, funny enough, was about a girl that Brian was dating at the time). I asked Brian about Fluid and he said, “Fluid was one of my favorite things we did. I remember when we were recording it, it was dark and grey, and it was really weird outside… but, that record came out really well.” Interesting enough, Michael has written a few songs about Brian (“Lonely Boy Gone Bad,” “Sugar Mama”) and even painted him, as the painting of “Lonely Boy” on the Shaded Pain re-issue is Doidge.

So, let me get back to the history aspect of the story. Brian continues, “I just ended up playing with Mike. We did the Lifesavers, and then a few guys left and it was just me, Mike and Kevin Lee for awhile. We went to Frontline Records and then Mike started his own label. As Shaded Pain was being released, we changed from Lifesavers to L.S.U. because people gave us so much grief about that record. It was so different, and dark, but we were trying to relay the other side… I mean we weren’t going to sing ‘Jesus Loves Me This I Know’, we already knew that. We were trying to go a little deeper and talk about the real issues Christians were dealing with, that normal people deal with, like relationships, and some of the things that can be darker. I worked really hard on that record, I thought it was really good. I did guitar and bass with Mike and we thought that this was the way we were going to go, but nobody liked it ya know? They wanted the Dreamlife stuff that we had done on the previous record, but I hated that record. After that we just kind of said ‘whatever’ and we played where we could, but there weren’t a lot of places to play. I think after Shaded Pain people basically thought we had lost our minds. Then, years later, I hear how much people really like that record and I thought, ‘Thanks for the support when it came out.’ Mike and I were starving at the time because we were trying to do this as a living, these other Christian bands were able to do it as a living, and that’s what we were striving for. Then Michael started his own label and we just started putting stuff out on the Blonde Vinyl/Siren Records label that he had going for awhile, and we just became best friends. We lived together, we lived in LA, and we moved to Hollywood and tried to make it in a more secular type band called Idle Lovell, but I think we got kind of scared of Hollywood, man it was weird up there, so we moved back to Orange County.”

On the album Shaded Pain, as mentioned earlier, there is the song about Brian called “Lonely Boy.” Brian said, “I was all messed up over this girl, over the relationship ending, I was really messed up over it… that’s about when I started drinking. Alcoholism can affect anybody, you just don’t know if you have the disease or not.” I asked Brian if alcoholism runs in his family. “No, not really, I guess way back on my Mom’s side a great Grandfather died from it, but no one in my family really drinks, it wasn’t a part of my upbringing or anything, it was just something I kind of slid into. When I was about 20 or 21 I just started experimenting with it, but you just don’t realize that it can reach out and grab a hold of you because you’re not a normal person. I had no idea about alcoholism or anything like that, I was just living life like everyone else, and I didn’t realize until I was about 30 that something just wasn’t right here.” Brian and I started talking about how when you’re an addict you just kind of wake up and think, “Man, I’m 30, what happened to the last 10 years of my life?” Brian continues, “Yeah, I remember most of my 20′s, it was when I was battling the disease in my 30′s that I lost recollection of entire weeks, shows, spans of time, you know, the whole deal… it’s just a nightmare, but I really didn’t know what to do. God helped me through a lot of tight scrapes, I was really lucky.”

“Sometime around ’93 Michael and I started talking about getting a record deal, another secular type deal, and the things were happening in Hollywood, so I thought if we just go there and play, even if nobody comes, we might at least get an offer if we get a good enough band together. So, Michael got a drummer, and I put an ad out and went through a ton of guitarists until we found Andrew Carter… and we started Aunt Betty’s Ford. It wasn’t intended to be a Christian band at all I don’t think, and we just started playing teasers until we became teaser favorites and all of a sudden we had a record deal… I mean, it sounds like it was easy, but looking back on it, it was kind of like once that was what we decided to do, we did it, and we ended up with a record deal. It was kind of strange, it was surreal, it was a really weird time. So we put out what we thought was a really good record, but I guess the record company wasn’t really happy. I was never really sure what all the circumstances were about why we left the label because I was really a little too out of it most of the time to know, or even care. I just remember playing some shows, and then I don’t remember playing some shows. I think I probably played most of the last Aunt Betty’s shows in a blackout. So, the band was in the process of leaving that label, and Mike decided that it was probably time for us to part ways, which was understandable considering what a mess I was… I was a little hurt, but looking back on it I understand where he was coming from.”

“After the whole Aunt Betty’s thing we just kind of lost contact, I didn’t play to much then, I just figured maybe it was time to retire.” I asked Brian if retiring might have been due in part to the letdown of losing the Aunt Betty’s contract. “Yeah, I guess that it was, and I think it was pretty much our fault, or I’ll take my side of it anyway… I was way too much of an alcoholic at that point to pull anything that professional off. I mean, I was a mess. I was on the floor, and I mean seriously in the grips of it bad where it was affecting my playing and it was affecting me. After that it just spiraled out of control and I thought maybe I just shouldn’t be doing this, I felt embarrassed you know, because Christian people would come to see me play, and it just wasn’t a very good representation of who I was. I was really fighting my disease, and not being very successful at fighting it, and I think a lot of people saw that and were probably just thinking, man, what the hell is wrong with this guy? I was one of those alcoholics that just couldn’t stop drinking even if I had a show, and I played some shows very intoxicated, and the guilt from that was just horrific.”

“So, that’s when I left, and the Aunt Betty’s continued on a little while without me, and then Mike just started doing his solo stuff after that. I ended up meeting a girl who had a really good job, and I just basically ended up being a bum from about the time the band ended until about the end of 2004. So, I spent 5 or 6 years of my life doing nothing… I didn’t work, I just drank, I didn’t care about anything, I had lost hope in life and in music. When you’re in the grips of alcoholism, that becomes all you care about, I didn’t play music, I didn’t pray, nothing but drinking.” Brian and the girl he met ended up getting married. “My wife allowed me to live that way and I took full advantage of it, and that was wrong on every level of who I am, and every level of just normal human beings. It was the wrong existence to have, and I had it for way too long. I just watched TV and drank, and I jumped in a few Orange County bands here and there, did a little writing for them, played a few shows, but nothing ever really worked out. I think at that point I was starting to scare people, and that’s sad.”

Brian’s marriage lasted about 10 or 11 months, and then his wife met someone else. They were together a little over 6 years, but then he was out, right around Christmas of 2004. “I had a bag of clothes, didn’t know what I was going to do, I just left. I went to a rehearsal studio of a friend of mine and stayed there for awhile until I could figure out what I needed to do. So, I decided that the thing to do was to get sober, but I didn’t know how to go about it, and I had tried it on my own and just couldn’t seem to do it. So, I thought maybe I needed to get a job.” Brian laughs and in a mocking voice says, “Maybe I should get a job… what a novel idea… I think I’ll get a job. It took me forever to get a job. I looked every day for five or six weeks, every morning I got the paper and I went on job interviews all day. I would be at these interviews and the people would say, “You’re 42 and you have no resume, what have you been doing?” I would tell them, I’m a professional musician, I’ve been in bands, making records and touring, and they would say, “Yeah, we’ll give you a call.” Never heard from them man, interview after interview, and I just knew. So I finally ended up answering an ad for what turned out to be a temp agency. There was this other musician who worked there, and the guy that ran it was also a musician, and he had just bought this guitar, an expensive guitar, and there was something wrong with it so I just grabbed it and basically fixed it for him. He started talking to me and asking me about myself, I told him I was a musician, and he asked me if I knew anything about speakers… I said, well, I’ve blown a few of them. He told me that he had a great place for me to work, so I ended up getting a job at the speaker store… they’re a big power amp company that got into speakers, and I started working there, and I still work there today. I started off at the entry level, and I’ve worked my way up to a supervisor, been there since 2005.”

During this time Brian started going to a 12-Step program, but as he says, he still wasn’t “getting it.” He continues, “I kept trying to get sober, and then I was drinking again, and I would try some sober living things, but I would still keep drinking. So finally I moved into a weekly motel right by my work, and that’s what I did for a couple of years… basically, I worked and I drank, it was a pretty sad existence. I was barely holding down my job at times, and then I would get sober for a little while, work would be happy and promote me, and then I would struggle again, and that was basically how my life was. Then, last February I had a week off work, and I had been drinking heavily with some friends at my hotel room, and I guess one night they came in and found me face down on the ground with a bunch of empty bottles around me… I was unresponsive, so they got me to the emergency room and I was admitted right away because the doctors said my pancreas was about to explode. So, at that time I was at deaths door. I stayed on the top floor of the hospital for about a week, hooked up to every machine that they had. Imagine just waking up, strapped down and hooked up to all these machines behind you that are humming and beeping and thinking, “Uh oh, I’ve really done it this time.” So that was really my wake up call.”

Fortunately, the hospital had a chemical dependency unit right inside, and they asked Brian if he was interested in doing a 30 day program. Doidge said yes, he went through the program, started his own 12-Step program, and at the time of this interview he has close to 9 months without a drink! When I stopped the interview to congratulate Brian he said, “Thanks. Yeah, nine months is a long time, or it is for me ya know. That’s the long and short of it, and now sobriety is a big part of my life, it has to be.”

Brian has been very fortunate, not just that his life was spared, but he has also been able to re-connect with people in his life that he had not spoken to in a long time. He relays, “My Dad, and Mom and Mike all came back into my life once I got sober. I had not spoken to them in a good eight years, I think they had written me off, and I had pretty much written myself off too, just because I didn’t know what else to do.” In talking with Doidge, I told him how a lot of the music that he and Michael made had helped me through a lot of dark places in my life, and how I found it interesting that even though he was going through his own struggles when he made the music, God still used it, in spite of what he was doing, to minister to me. He replied, “That makes it all worthwhile, ya know? That’s one of the main gratifications for me… maybe this will speak to someone else and help them along, especially now, that’s one of my main reasons to continue doing it. Maybe people will say, hey… these guys have been through it, and now they’re singing about it, and maybe it will give somebody hope in a rough time.”

Brian now lives in Newport Beach, at what is called a ‘sober living’ home. Basically, it is two houses, one for men and one for women, where people who are living sober are welcomed to come and stay. Sobriety is the only pre-requisite to living there. Brian has been there since February of 2008, and loves where he is living. He said that he helps out new residents, introduces them to people and helps them get their bearings. I asked Brian if he would be able to stay there as long as he wanted and he said, “Yeah, it’s a great place, I’m comfortable here. There are other people here, just like me, that are taking it day by day. I just go to work, go to the movies, don’t drink, hang out at the pool, ya know the normal stuff that everyone else does… I love it here.” I told Brian how when I got sober it was just nice to experience the same things that other people did, just to be able to go to the movies was a blessing. He agrees and says, “I know, I was having trouble eating when I drank, and now just being able to eat is a blessing, and going to the movies instead of just having a movie as background noise in a hotel room… it’s a lot of little things, like being able to look people in the eye when you talk to them. I was always ashamed of what I was, I never looked people in the eye, I was ashamed to talk to God, let alone other people… it just had me bad. Now, life is good, I have no complaints at all, I don’t need to go anywhere, I’m good right where I’m at.”

I had to ask Brian Doidge about working with Knott. If you’ve ever seen the footage of Cornerstone ’93, or if you were fortunate enough to have been there, they always seemed to have a zany sense of humor. There were the outfits… Doidge in the clown mask next to Knott wearing a gigantic cookie monster head. Brian laughs and says, “Mike with the cookie monster hat… yeah, we went into a costume shop in the town where we played that festival and asked if we could rent the costumes (more laughter), then we just wore them for the show. It was some weird humor that we had.” Then I asked Brian about Michael’s penchant for dumping canned food all over himself. “Oh yeah,” Brian said, “and it gets all over everything. It used to be that white face clown make-up, and it would get all over everything, I could never get it out of my clothes. At least he switched from clown white to canned food, because I could get the food washed out. I would be playing and I didn’t know what he was going to do, or when he would do it, then I would smell something and think ‘Corn?’, and I would look over and there’s Mike covered in corn. Then sometimes it would smell like when you’re camping, and there’s Mike, covered in pork and beans… and I start to get hungry over here playing. Mike would become whatever he was pouring on him, it got everywhere.”

On playing with Michael he says, “I’ve always felt blessed that I got to play Christian music and send out a more positive message, even though at times it seemed we were addressing the more negative side of things, but I believe there are positive and negative things to life. I think Christians, whether they want to admit it or not, have a lot of hard things they have to go through… that’s part of being a human being.”

“Mike and I always worked really well because I could just follow along, we got stuff done really quick. Mike was always a privilege to play beside because he was a good showman and a great songwriter. He was my best friend and it was always just fun to see what he was going to do next. I was always like the little brother sitting behind him thinking, ‘Yep, he’s nuts, but I love him.’”

When I was talking to Michael about the new L.S. Underground record, we also started talking about songs and their meanings. Songs are really interesting in the sense that they can take on a life of their own. I have always been attracted to music based generally on the lyrical content first, and then the music second. That’s not to say if Brittany Spears put out a thought-provoking album I would buy it, I do have to like the music, but the lyrics have always come first for me. That is what drew me into Michael’s art in the first place, the fact that he puts out amazing music that ranges from goth, to new wave, to surfer punk and everything in between, was just icing on the cake. I asked Michael about the meaning, or inspiration, behind five of his songs. It was hard to choose just five, seriously I mean how do you pick out five when he has over four hundred? Anyway, it was a great conversation where Michael flipped the table, and asked me a question or two. It fit great with the story, so it’s all here below for your reading enjoyment.

1.

First up was the song “The Bitterness” off of Life Of David. “That’s basically about being a human being and dealing with life as it comes at you, and understanding that we can learn from the hard times that can make us better. If we didn’t have the hard times, and we only had good times, we couldn’t become a better person. That’s why ‘I love the bitterness’. You gotta love the hard times because they’re gonna grow you as a person, a more loving person and a more whole person.”

2.

The next song we talked about was “Serious” off of Rocket and a Bomb. “That’s all about just not taking life too serious. You know, everyone’s talking about how they lost this girl, or that guy, or they lost their house or their job… why do you take it so serious? You know there is hope at the end of this dark time, there is hope. That’s what I am saying in a nutshell, because there is hope, we don’t need to commit suicide, we don’t need to jump from the Empire State, we don’t need to hang from an oak tree. We don’t need to do that because there is a reason for us to be here, so let’s stay as long as we possibly can.”

3.

Third in line was “Beg and Kick” off of Radioactive Hits. “The lyric that sums it up is ‘you’re sloppy sick when you beg and you kick’. It’s not about begging, it’s not about kicking, it’s about living. There’s no hope in begging and kicking. What about the flow, the flow of humanity, the flow of love and the flow of life. You know, there’s faith, hope and love… there’s no faith, hope and love in begging and kicking, that’s the opposite of Christ, so I’m blaming myself there. I beg, I kick and I’m sloppy sick when I beg and kick.”

4.

Next to last was “Down”, one of my favorites off Comatose Soul. “That’s about Christ in the garden of Gethsemane. He’s praying to the Father, ‘if You can, please take this away from me’. Christ knows what’s going to happen to him, and that’s when He sweats blood, which is one of the most intense things in history. That’s Him talking to the Father, ‘won’t You save me from the down, won’t You throw away this cup that’s hanging around, Your ways, not mine will be found, won’t You save me from the down.”

5.

Last of all was the song “Radio Satan” from Cash In Chaos. Radio Satan was always my favorite track from that album, but after years of trying to figure out the meaning, I decided to ask the man himself. Michael explains, “Basically I was so upset at this Christian radio programmer, and I will never name his name, but he was so against me that I wrote that song about him. Here he was, he was a Christian with a Christian radio show and occasionally he would throw in some alternative rock… his wife really liked my stuff, but he hated my stuff. So, I turned him in to Judas in the song and that’s where ‘the kiss’ leads to murder, and in kissing Christ, Christ becomes the martyr, and, I called this guy Radio Satan. Straight up, straight forward, that is what that song is about. I had some angst, I was a little upset and it made for a decent song that really had a home-run chorus. It’s weird to say ‘Satan’ and put it in a nice chorus you know, it wasn’t giving points to Satan though. It was tearing this guy down, and I was being human, I was being a little judgmental… I never said his name though, and I also knew that people would take it in their own way and it would mean something different to them too, in a cool way, and maybe in an even better way.” This is where Michael flips the role on me and says to me, ” I want you to print this too, what did that song mean to you? This is a perfect example of where a song can transcend from the birth and spawn all sorts of things, what did that song mean to you personally?” My response was that I really had no idea… but Michael said, “C’mon, you must have some thoughts on what it meant?” I honestly didn’t, but then I referred back to the song “Down”, because I could explain that one and what it meant to me. When I purchased Comatose Soul, I had just come out of rehab for drug and alcohol abuse, and being sober I had the daily fighting with myself to stay on the track of being ‘clean’. The lyrics to me spoke of fighting my intuition to drink and use again…”nothing helps the raging trigger when it calls, nothing stops the clever digger when he falls, nothing’s there to convince the will at all.” Those lyrics spoke to me of my will, and how when the pull of substance becomes overwhelming, nothing can convince my will to do anything else. Anyone who has struggled, fallen and struggles some more with drugs and alcohol can relate. The song continues to the chorus, “Won’t you throw away this cup that’s hanging around, Your ways, not mine will be found, won’t You save me from the down.” The cup in that song was a representation of a bottle, or a drug, and it was, for me, a cry to God for my will to find His way and to save me from going ‘down’ again. That song was profound when I first heard it because of the struggle and the fight that I faced on an hourly, and sometimes minute to minute, basis.

That’s where Michael picks back up and says, “That’s what I’m talking about, you see people that read this are going to have their own experiences with the songs if they’ve heard them. Their experiences are just as important, if not more important, than what the original writer thought. That’s why sometimes it’s not good to do an interview and explain the meaning of songs unless people understand that their interpretation many times trumps the writers intent because of what it means to them. That’s the beauty of a song, because of course Christ would also want to help a person trying to get free from an addiction.”

Michael has to be the busiest man in music. If you didn’t already know, not only is he a musician, but he is also a painter, the curator of an art gallery and hard at work on several different projects. In addition to the new L.S. Underground album, there are many things on the horizon. This is good news for all the fans, because there will be a steady stream of Knott projects, as well as projects that he has contributed to in some way. All the pertinent links will be listed at the bottom of the page.

Many of you probably remember Windy Lyre, who was on Michael’s Blonde Vinyl record label back in the early ’90′s. Windy has a new release that will probably be out by the time that you read this. Michael and Windy co-wrote all the songs together. Michael plays guitar and bass, as does Rick McDonough, Michael’s partner in Struck Last May. Michael says, There are some live drums and some loops, it’s a Christian record, it’s very uplifting and was a lot of fun to work on.” The title of the album is Overflow, and can be purchased through Windy’s MySpace page.

Lifesavers are working on a new record as well, the line-up also has Josh Lory from L.S. Underground, as well as a couple of guys from Five Iron Frenzy. That one will be available sometime next year.

Michael is working on a solo record that will also have Brian Doidge playing bass. The title is Even Star, and this one is not a re-working of the oft rumored Losing Angel. Losing Angel, for now at least, has been ditched. Even Star will hopefully come out sometime before Christmas. Michael explains it, “This record is a trip, it’s not super heavy, it’s kind of light as far as the mix and the tones. There are some really cool songs on it.” This album was inspired by Liv Tyler’s character in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, and as Michael relates, “It’s not like I’m really in to that kind of stuff, but I was in to her character, so I decided to do a whole record about it. It’s real interesting because it starts to change in to this spiritual thing as well, one where God is involved. It’s a whole different angle, but it’s a trippy record.”

Struck Last May, which is Michael and Rick McDonough, is also working on their second album, due out next year. Knott says, “This one is not as experimental as the first one, but it’s a very fun record. I wish I could give away one of the songs, it’s so cool, but I can’t… I gotta keep it under wraps.” Michael has also helped Rick McDonough mix, and co-produce, the upcoming album for his solo project Hidden From Blackout.

Michael is still in The Rover’s Three, a ‘sort of’ Irish band that also includes his dad Howie, and their friend Chuck. The new release is “Go Irish” which Howie says, “It has 21 hits on it. Some we wrote ourselves, and the others are traditional old school Irish songs.”

Michael is still painting, and I want to say thanks for the self portrait that he graciously did for our cover here at Down The Line. You can check out Michael’s latest paintings available to view, and purchase, at his website listed below. He said when talking about his art, “It’s my heart… it’s my heart, you know, on the canvas.” There will also be original art on the packaging of Even Star. Also, check out www.artloft205.com, which is the gallery that Michael is the curator of. Art Loft is now completely online, so stop by to browse and shop some amazing artists.

In addition, keep an eye out from several projects from Rick McDonough, Michael’s partner in Struck Last May. Rick has the solo project Hidden from Blackout, and that release titled “Break Ups & Fur Coats” is due out later this fall. Rick is also in an amazing band with Peter Kusek called While Rome Is Burning, and their E.P. is due out at the end of this year or the beginning of next year.

Michael Knott: www.michaelknott.com or myspace.com/michaelgerardknott
L.S. Underground MySpace: www.myspace.com/lsunderground
Lifesavers MySpace:  www.myspace.com/lifesaversofficial
Windy Lyre MySpace:  www.myspace.com/windylyre
Struck Last May:  www.myspace.com/strucklastmay or www.strucklastmay.com*
Hidden From Blackout:  hiddenfromblackout.com or myspace.com/hiddenfromblackout
The Rover’s Three:  www.theroversthree.com
Gerard artwork:  www.gerardartwork.com
While Rome Is Burning (Peter Kusek & Rick McDonough): www.whileromeisburning.com* or myspace.com/whileromeisburning
Hail Mary Studios:  hailmarystudios@gmail.com or www.hailmarystudios.com*
* web site under construction

THE MUSIC AND THE MESSAGE, THE HEAVIEST TO DATE

“I’M SCARED ABOUT THIS NEW RECORD, BECAUSE I’VE HAD TO TOTALLY
ENGULF MYSELF IN THIS SUBJECT TO MAKE IT SEEM REAL TO ME”

L.S. Underground is back. It’s been ten years since we have heard from the band that last brought us Dogfish Jones. This is no return to form however, this is Michael Knott doing what he does best, carving out new musical territory and leading the way with what he promised in 2007 would be the heaviest L.S.U. record ever made. Knott has a faithful fan base, and we have been waiting for over a decade, but as Michael says, “I really wouldn’t do a record unless it was about something, and this is definitely about something real.” This, as yet untitled, album tackles the heaviest subject that Michael has ever delved into. It brings Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, or PTSS, into the public arena in an attempt to bring attention to this seriousness of this issue, and the desperate need for help that exists in a very real way. The players on this album are many and include, Michael Knott, Josh Lory, Jim Chaffin, Matt Biggers, Daniel Sonners, Rick McDonough and for the long time fans, Brian Doidge is back! The album is due out on sometime in mid-November 2008, but for now let’s talk about the record and the catalyst that it will be to raise awareness about this sobering syndrome.

For those who are unfamiliar with PTSS, the textbook definition is “an anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to one or more terrifying events that threaten or cause grave physical harm. It is a severe and ongoing emotional reaction to an extreme psychological trauma.” PTSS can be brought on by numerous things including rape, physical and mental abuse and war trauma. Statistically 7%-8% of people in the U.S. will develop PTSS in their lifetime, with a life long occurrence in combat veterans as high as 10%-30%. The symptoms include (but are not limited to) nightmares, flashbacks and severe anxiety, and the effects are severe depression and suicide. It is a crippling problem that needs to be addressed. That is what Michael is doing on this album, bringing the attention to the front of his listeners mind. In talking Michael says, “This is not a political album, it is not a pro-war or anti-war record. This is a record about our troops returning from war in Iraq and Afghanistan. There are plenty of stories about them coming back and I wanted to do a record that got to the heart of the fact that some of these men and women are coming home and killing themselves.” He goes on, “The new word is PTSS, because it is a syndrome, not PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) which it has been called because it is not a disorder, but whatever they call it, it’s real.” Michael goes on to tell me a story about a soldier that had just returned home from service, and suffering from PTSS he tried to get help.” His family didn’t know what was going on, he left his wife and his children, he called to try and get help and was told that he would have to have his superiors call in for him. So, he did that, but then he was put on a three month waiting list, and he ends up killing himself.” “There are tons of these stories”, Michael continues, “In Newport Beach this guy with a purple heart, a purple heart, the medal for bravery, he just killed his girlfriend last week, and the government, and us as Americans, we’re not doing a damn thing about this… I knew one thing I could do, I could write a record about it, that’s what I can do.” When I told Michael I had just read a report that the Army’s suicide rate is the highest it has ever been he said, “Yeah I know and CNN is not reporting this, Fox News is not reporting this, there is no one that is going to report that. That is why I am here to make this record, and why you are here to promote this record, because people have to understand that these soldiers are completely hurting and they are killing themselves at record rates.”

There is an urgency when talking to Michael about this record, because not only are people hurting, but there is not readily available care for these soldiers either. The obstacles are many, and these soldiers are trained and conditioned to not ask for help. So asking is the first hurdle, but when asked there needs to be something in place to accommodate these men and women right away. Knott continues, “These soldiers are trained to be self reliant, you do not cower down, you suck it up and you deliver. That’s just not human nature, we are under our Creator, and we are not God, people are just not getting it. You know we still have all these veterans from Vietnam, and now there’s a whole new crop from Iraq and Afghanistan. These guys come home and it’s supposed to be all rosy? Well, it’s not! These guys gotta stand in line, get on a list and then maybe, maybe in four months someone will see them. Think about this, at least in the Marines you know that you may see your friends die, but not in the National Guard, not at all, or at least not in the beginning. These men and women serve one weekend a month, but now they are being sent to Iraq and Afghanistan, and they are watching their friends get their heads blown off, they are having to shoot people… the point is when they come home we say, “Congratulations, you made it,”… what are we thinking!? We are in complete denial about what happens to these soldiers when they return home, big time denial. I will probably be able to touch on 10% of what happens to these soldiers on this record, 10% if I’m lucky.”

This record is about the specifics of PTSS, but there are many scenarios in which the point is driven home. This is not a concept album, or a rock opera like many of L.S.U.’s previous offerings or Michael’s solo endeavors. There are many different stories in this album, different stories found in the different songs. “I have one song on the album,” Michael says, “a song that’s called ‘Child’s Prayer’… and it’s heavy, the lyrics just say, “Jesus, Jesus help my dad,” and this child just keeps repeating this because his dad has just screamed, broken stuff and then left. The little child is freaked out and he’s left wondering “what has happened to my Dad, this is not the same Dad that I had before he went to Iraq or Afghanistan, this is very bad’. That’s the idea for this album, if I can touch on several different issues so that people can hear about the guy that committed suicide, or so people can hear about the child’s prayer, or people can hear about someone who has come home and after enduring war and doesn’t understand why he still gets struck by lightning.”

As mentioned earlier, the problem that exists is not just getting these soldiers home, but also what to do once they are home. As Michael says, “You know what pisses me off the most? We bring them on home, we say ‘okay’ now you’re out of harms way. Congratulations, go back to work, go back to your family, and you know what they think when they wake up in the morning? They think GUN, AMMO, FOOD… that’s the three things they think when they walk out the door, do I have my gun, my ammo and my food. Then the reality comes back and they think, ‘Wait a minute, I’m here in America’… but they get in their car, and they drive down the middle of the road, not the left or right, but the middle, and everything on the side of the road is a potential bomb, and WE are not dealing with that.” There are not programs set up that deal specifically with PTSS. There are not treatments for these troops where they can call, and then come in and get help. Once they come to grips with their issues, they are placed on waiting lists that can last for months and months on end. Michael continues, “There are all sorts of things dealt with in the record, and it doesn’t give you a complete map to hope at the end… but, the point is that we need to find places for these people so if they call, if they work up the courage to call, or if their wife or husband call, or if their kid crying pushes them to call, then they need to get help right then, that day, period!

As you can tell, this is a heavy subject matter, and one that Michael feels very deeply about. It is a record that Michael describes as, “Not the prettiest record, it’s gonna be dark, but these people are hurting.” So, what can be done, and is there hope for a solution? It is a disturbing reality that these soldiers face, and it is something that we, as a society, have to do something about. Michael, discussing one song, says, “This one song on the album comes to this final point, where all the little children are holding hands and believing in love. If God is love, than what is love fighting for? I don’t understand why people believe that God has told them to kill somebody, I don’t get that? I understand that God is fighting for love, because God is love and He’s fighting for truth. I’m a little upset about… ya know, the radicals, and I don’t want to name religions here… but the ones that believe God has told them to wipe out America… so, if all the children, all the little children, before they were inducted into this or that, if they all held hands they would believe in love. Allot of times when we become adults and start believing in many things, we find rifts between us all, and we need to look back at the little children and how Christ said, ‘Let the little children come to me, because unless you become like a little child, you will not enter the kingdom of God’. There are so many aspects of this war, and this PTSS, that we haven’t even tapped into at all. I’m mainly singing about the troops that come back home to America. This is about one part, one angle, one vehicle that I have that I feel strongly about and that is that we need to help these soldiers here in America.”

There does seem to be a sign that maybe things are getting better, or at least social attitudes have improved. Michael relates, “It’s better than it was in Vietnam, those kids came home to people spitting at them and being called murderers, and then what, they’re supposed to just go live their lives? So, it’s better today than it was, but the problem is there is still no help.” He does want to make it clear that not everyone who returns from Iraq and Afghanistan suffers from PTSS. Again, this is just a record that deals with those who do suffer this particular syndrome. He explains, “Most of the soldiers that come back are fine, and they are not going to be having these problems. But, there are allot that are forgotten that are going to need help. So I don’t want to make a blanket statement that everyone who saw combat will suffer from PTSS, the statistics don’t show that and just because they come back from war does not mean that they are going to be affected. It’s the ones that want help… that know that they need help. So, I don’t know what the answer is… I mean I think God is one of the answers, but at the same time the mental health field needs to be setting up programs where these guys can sit down and talk about stuff together. Where they can cry, and get pissed off and break something and work their way through it. There’s just nothing like that right now, but I’m sure there will be soon. In our day and age I think something will be done because stuff like this doesn’t get swept under the rug as much as it used to. There’s allot of people that care.”

This record will drop, and drop hard sometime in November of this year. Musically it is the heaviest L.S. Underground album to date. Michael wrote most of the songs on bass and guitar, but he handles primarily just the vocals. As he describes it, “There are some ethereal moments on it, some ‘Bowie vocal moments’ in there, and some screamo vocals… it kind of runs the gamut in a lot of ways. I hooked up with Josh Lory who was a believer in L.S.U., and I had always wanted to do a heavy album with double kick, so Josh went out and found Jim Chaffin from The Crucified, and Chaffin was perfect with the double kick. Rick McDonough is also on board, who most will recognize as the other half of Michael’s other band Struck Last May. In addition, Brian Doidge is back and that will surely please the long time fans. Josh Lory describes the record this way, “This record re-defines music in a couple of ways. First, the music on the album is a meld of classic rock, punk, post-punk, metal, spacey guitars and driving rhythms. There are elements of The Ramones, Led Zepplin, The Cure, Black Sabbath, Queens Of The Stone Age, Bauhaus, etc., all intertwined without being a train wreck. Jim Chaffin’s drumming put it over the top, pulling the double kick style out of being pigeon holed to just metal. I dare you to find anything that sounds like it. Second, the lyrics are H-E-A-V-Y. Guys like Springsteen will only touch on a subject matter like this on a song or two, but a whole album!?! I’ve heard many records in my 32 years, but nothing like this.” As far as plans to tour behind the album, Michael said, “I don’t know. If we can set dates and are able to promote it I would love to, we’ll just have to see.”