I owe Theo Obrastoff an apology… Theo unfortunately got tangled up in the wheels of my horrible planning and timing. We actually did this interview in the summer of last year, and then we decided to hold it until November/December and release it in conjunction with his Basement Tapes episode. Seeing as how the New Year turned and you are just now reading this shows how far behind I allowed things to get. If only I could devote all my time to DTL, that would be nice! Anyway, back to Theo and what is important…
I was a late-comer to Theo and his work. I had seen from time to time an online reference to an album called Come as a Child (or Not At All), but I had never been able to find a copy to my dismay. All of my favorite artists are on there – a who’s who in the music world: Theo, Terry Taylor, Michael Knott, Riki Michele, Derri Daugherty, Michael Roe and many others as well. I got an email from Mike Indest (who does the DTL Basement Tapes) that said “You need to interview Theo Obrastoff, the anniversary of Andy is coming up soon.” To be honest, I wasn’t sure who Theo or Andy was, but as soon as I contacted Theo he filled me in on the entire story. Theo lost his son Andy in 2001 due to complications from a lung & heart transplant. So, for me, there was this desire to talk to Theo about his music, but I found out so much more about his journey that he and his family have gone through. It is inspiring.
Theo sent me a book he had written, The Father Loves the Son, as well as several solo CD’s he has recorded. In addition he sent me Suffer the Children and the follow up Come As a Child (or Not At All)… I was surprised at his generosity, and I was excited to get the book and all the music… There is an important story here, one that is not only important because of the magnitude of what happened and how Theo and his family (as well as countless others) were affected, but it is important as well because the parallel between Theo and his son Andy are a mirror to how Father God feels about each of those that belong to Him. I think there is an expression of how much He loves every single soul that He created.
This is a story of complexities, it is a story of tragedy and triumph, and it is a story that is about the resilience of a child’s spirit. There is a reason why scripture talks about children so much; there is a reason why unless we become like them we will not see the Kingdom. C.S. Lewis said it best, he said, “When I was a child I spoke as a child, when I became an adult I put away childish things, like the desire to be grown up.” Theo’s story about the journey of his son is life changing, and it spoke deeply to me even though I do not have children. I hope that you will take this journey and learn about Theo and his music, but I hope you will take it a step further and learn from Theo about what he has experienced in dealing with Andy’s cystic fibrosis, and ultimately learning how to give his son back to the Creator. It is quite a journey.
Can you tell us just a bit about yourself?
I live with my wife and our youngest son (12) in Mill Creek (a city just 20 miles north of Seattle). My elder son (24) is living in Wisconsin and is with the Army.
What bands have you played with and been involved with musically?
In the early 80s I played a great deal with a “best in the NW” band called The Want. We did covers and a great deal of original music. I played bass for The Want and sang back up. Later I played in bands where I could play guitar and focus more upon my own compositions. There was “Philippi Co. Jail” and “The Jordan River Project” and finally “Flip Side.” Then there was the time I played a great deal of acoustic solo music as I was blessed with the unique adventure of trouncing about from Cornerstone to Vancouver BC, riding the coattails of The Lost Dogs (they used to play the big rooms).
What is your “day time” job?
Presently I am a housewife… err… husband… and I am also a full time student with Walden University, getting my MS in Mental Health Counseling. Before that I pastured for quite a long while.
I owe Theo Obrastoff an apology… Theo unfortunately got tangled up in the wheels of my horrible planning and timing. We actually did this interview in the summer of last year, and then we decided to hold it until November/December and release it in conjunction with his Basement Tapes episode. Seeing as how the New Year turned and you are just now reading this shows how far behind I allowed things to get. If only I could devote all my time to DTL, that would be nice! Anyway, back to Theo and what is important…
I was a late-comer to Theo and his work. I had seen from time to time an online reference to an album called Come as a Child (or Not At All), but I had never been able to find a copy to my dismay. All of my favorite artists are on there – a who’s who in the music world: Theo, Terry Taylor, Michael Knott, Riki Michele, Derri Daugherty, Michael Roe and many others as well. I got an email from Mike Indest (who does the DTL Basement Tapes) that said “You need to interview Theo Obrastoff, the anniversary of Andy is coming up soon.” To be honest, I wasn’t sure who Theo or Andy was, but as soon as I contacted Theo he filled me in on the entire story. Theo lost his son Andy in 2001 due to complications from a lung & heart transplant. So, for me, there was this desire to talk to Theo about his music, but I found out so much more about his journey that he and his family have gone through. It is inspiring.
Theo sent me a book he had written, The Father Loves the Son, as well as several solo CD’s he has recorded. In addition he sent me Suffer the Children and the follow up Come As a Child (or Not At All)… I was surprised at his generosity, and I was excited to get the book and all the music… There is an important story here, one that is not only important because of the magnitude of what happened and how Theo and his family (as well as countless others) were affected, but it is important as well because the parallel between Theo and his son Andy are a mirror to how Father God feels about each of those that belong to Him. I think there is an expression of how much He loves every single soul that He created.
This is a story of complexities, it is a story of tragedy and triumph, and it is a story that is about the resilience of a child’s spirit. There is a reason why scripture talks about children so much; there is a reason why unless we become like them we will not see the Kingdom. C.S. Lewis said it best, he said, “When I was a child I spoke as a child, when I became an adult I put away childish things, like the desire to be grown up.” Theo’s story about the journey of his son is life changing, and it spoke deeply to me even though I do not have children. I hope that you will take this journey and learn about Theo and his music, but I hope you will take it a step further and learn from Theo about what he has experienced in dealing with Andy’s cystic fibrosis, and ultimately learning how to give his son back to the Creator. It is quite a journey.
Can you tell us just a bit about yourself?
I live with my wife and our youngest son (12) in Mill Creek (a city just 20 miles north of Seattle). My elder son (24) is living in Wisconsin and is with the Army.
What bands have you played with and been involved with musically?
In the early 80s I played a great deal with a “best in the NW” band called The Want. We did covers and a great deal of original music. I played bass for The Want and sang back up. Later I played in bands where I could play guitar and focus more upon my own compositions. There was “Philippi Co. Jail” and “The Jordan River Project” and finally “Flip Side.” Then there was the time I played a great deal of acoustic solo music as I was blessed with the unique adventure of trouncing about from Cornerstone to Vancouver BC, riding the coattails of The Lost Dogs (they used to play the big rooms).
What is your “day time” job?
Presently I am a housewife… err… husband… and I am also a full time student with Walden University, getting my MS in Mental Health Counseling. Before that I pastured for quite a long while.
Can you tell me the order of the stuff you have released? When did what CD come out, and where was the book released in the order of things?
Come as a Child was still in the grinder, so at my first C-Stone, we released my book (The Father Loves the Son) and a “single” CD with the same name which featured two songs. One was “Andrie,” a love song to my late son Andrew. The “flip side” has a new recording of the Dogs singing “Lord, Protect My Child.”
How/when did you meet Terry Taylor and how did the friendship that you guys have develop?
Terry received a request to come to Seattle and sing over a little boy who was dying due to Cystic Fibrosis (CF). God moved him to act upon the request and it was only a matter of days before he appeared on the fifth floor of Children’s Hospital of Seattle. He sang and prayed over Andrew. He spoke with Andrew. We spoke. He asked if we might stay in touch and I was really quite moved by his offer of friendship. A few months after Andrew passed away (May 5th 2001), I approached Terry about doing some sort of memorial for Andrew; something that focused upon father/son relationships and a bit of education about CF as well. It’s a long story, filled with ups, downs, tears, laughter (such as I had never experienced before), and an entirely new host of friends (brothers and sisters) than I had ever imagined possible.
How did you meet John Piccari?
The first Andy’s Angels Christmas Concert had taken place here in Washington State with Terry, Mike Roe, Aaron Sprinkle, and me. It was taped through the board as well as on video. We decided to help the project get started, to announce our intentions for the project (this would be December 2001), and just celebrate what was happening. Following the gig, I posted on the DA website a request for anybody who might be able to master the CDs for me. Piccari stepped right up to the plate and so did Rob Marnocha (sp? who packaged the two disc set). There were about 50 collector’s sets that were sold at around $50 each. Then I saw John at C-Stone (funny story). Then I went to So Cal, dropped off the tracks from my first Christmas album with Robert Watson, stayed with John, performed a Sunday morning deal with Jeff Elbel at John’s church, then joined the Dogs on the road and then swung back through So Cal to mix the Christmas album with Watson before returning home to the Seattle area. Trips to So Cal became frequent. My two best friends, Rich Brimer (Andrew introduced us in person in WA), and John Piccari (Andrew introduced us too, but it was after he had gone to heaven—if you catch my meaning). John is just this wonderful brother and I can’t really find better words than that.
Can you tell me Andy’s birthday, and the date that he passed away?
Andrew was born September 30th 1985 and he ascended to God on May 5th 2001 due to complications with a double-lung/heart transplant he received when nearly 10 years old.
Prior to Andrew having CF, was it something that you ever had any knowledge of or experience with?
No… Not at all. We were called down to the hospital in the middle of the night for a conference. The staff told us that Andrew was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis. There was this long, terrible silence. Our minds swirled and we had no idea what Cys)UR)U Fibr)IUERJsis or whatever was. It just sounded malevolent. Finally I broke the silence and asked, “Does this affect his life expectancy?” A straightforward “yes” came back at me. Then we wept because we inherently knew that something really awful had been pronounced over our baby, and life was never going to be the same. We wept because we are simple creatures of little understanding, and how to care for one of God’s angels (meaning kids with CF, with down syndrome, with autism, etc) is a thing too lofty for us to absorb. One just has to nod in acknowledgment and ask, “What do we do?”
In the beginning of your book, one of the things that really struck me was where you said that, “As I’ve striven to deal with the temporary loss of my son…” that struck me because it made death sound so temporal and not permanent. How has the journey been since that happened? Is it difficult to remember that it is temporary?
It is not difficult to remember that the separations we experience are temporal. This last May 5th marked 10 years since his passing. It seems like yesterday. Members of our family wear both scars and medals. There is PTSD and depression, but there is also joy and celebration. It pulls a person thin, demonstrates our own finiteness on a daily basis. Many in my family have passed away. I have experienced an inordinate amount of death for one living in the West; in the safety of the United States. My family comes from the “old country” (Russia) and we embrace the experience (post-modern before its time, lol). I am not properly Eastern Orthodox, but I hold to a number of doctrines the EO believes. One of those tenets is the belief in the living church, both seen and unseen. Death is but a thin veil that separates us for a brief season. As King David observed, “He will not return to me, but I will go to him.” That’s a guarantee.
I know it is a broad question, but how did you spend your time immediately following Andrew’s passing? How do you pick up and continue to move after dealing with something of that magnitude?
After some solemn moments of primal scream therapy, after basking in the love of my family and friends, after walking some really dark valleys, I… Let me say this: I kept on moving and I think that was a mistake. People think I demonstrated the proper way a man of faith, in faith, responds to such a thing. But a person can’t just keep moving. Ten years later, I find myself retracing my own steps, gathering pieces of the story and of myself and trying to figure out what to do next. Ten years later I actually feel like I’m mourning like a real person. When Andrew died I was a teacher at his school and too easily slipped into “care-taker” mode, ignoring my own need to truly grieve. Just this last year, I met up with the Lost Dogs and thanked them again for how special they had allowed our relationships to become. Amidst the talk I found myself suddenly saying, “I think I’m finally truly grieving.” So how does one continue? Not as the same person you were before. Andrew’s life was a 15 year battle against a killer disease. You come home from the war and trust God to help you deal with whatever disorders may surface [smile] and give God glory that He has never gone anywhere and never will He go anywhere.
Can you tell us about Violet and how she did after Andy’s passing? Are you still in contact with her? (Ed. Note-Violet was Andy’s first love)
Sure. Violet has always been a very passionate young lady about God and her walk with Him. She leaned heavily into God, into us, and others who cared about her for comfort and responded well to that. It was a surrealistic world for her. Anybody who has lost one whom they love will tell you how they feel alone, in that they wonder, “How could anybody else know how this feels and know all that we’ve shared together?” In his book, A Grief Observed, C.S. Lewis spoke to this matter in observing how he felt lonely and wanted to be around other people; he just didn’t want them to approach him or speak to him. Violet has moved out of state, but to her I am still Papa and my wife is still Mama, and we are all of us, quite in love.
What items do you still have available for purchase? The book, what discs, etc.?
Ah, ah! Like a son who knows his father’s heart! Thank you. [insert real laugh] Everything. 1) Suffer the Children 2) Come as a Child (or not at all) 3) Like an Orange to a Child, and of course, the book.
Can you give us a little info about the upcoming release and plans to play live?
I’m very excited about this. John Piccari is producing the project, which is a terribly wonderful illustration of what brothers do for one another. He sees the need in my music (we’ve spoken of it often) for others to come along side and pitch in. He’s doing that, along with some other friends, and I think this will be my opus—my life work. I’ve been earning an MS in Mental Health Counseling and have also worked closely in ministry with homeless folks who suffer various mental disorders. I’ve learned a great deal. The album is entirely from the perspectives of people dealing with a mental health disorder; everything from a season of depression, to schizophrenia, to Dissociative Identity Disorder. After I had composed all the songs, John bought me a copy of Alice Cooper’s From the inside, and I’m re-devouring that wonderful work. My new work has its lows, but it doesn’t stay down in the trenches either. In the end it speaks to what we all must do, and that is to live today, remembering that tomorrow will have its own problems. I would love to stage this as something of a psycho-drama-rock-show and play it down in So Cal and perhaps around Seattle or Portland. But, that is a matter for tomorrow. For today, John has his hands full with me!
Having come this far through the experience of Andy and his beating us to the pearly gates, what lessons have you learned (or experiences and truths have you discovered) that stick out the most in your mind?
In a hugely perplexing season, everything that is in the heart will come out… eventually. In a hugely vexing predicament, listen to the voice that says, “Yes, You can do this, because you’re stronger than you think.” People would always say, “I don’t know how you do it! I could never…” and I would say, “Yes you could. He would make you able.” And of course, the mantra that came out of all of this for AAR: Life is short; live well, love well. I would rephrase that as, Life is NOW; live well, love well.
Anything else that you would like to say?
Be sure to look up Camp CAACONAA on line just to see what happens when you scatter an idea. Please do visit andysangelsrecords.org to purchase the albums. Terry Taylor’s compositions are worth the ticket alone. Keep an eye out for this new album. Next year John and I may be asking for your votes to C-Stone! It could happen. 😉
In closing this out I wanted to share that Theo released Even Though I Walk which also comes with a download of the screenplay and is described by Theo as “the so-called “basement tape” recording of Theo Obrastoff’s Christmas Rock Opera “Even Though I Walk” – a lifetime opus for Obrastoff. It is a fairy tale focusing on the heart of Christmas with a prodigal edge to the story.”
Theo Obrastoff and The Lost Dogs
Obrastoffs and John Piccari
Theo Obrastoff and Jeff Elbel Live
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